Going Beyond My Boundaries

Merton sounds quite pleased with the attention that he has received from Pasternak.  He is really a writer at heart desiring some connection.  But he also is aware that the attention and the connection are not enough, that he has to go beyond his "limitations in thought and imagination." 
I have gotten some of my peace of mind and clarity back.  I am a little intimidated by the level of committment necessary to go beyond my limitations.  When I began training for long distance running some years ago, I was aware of a rise in my anxiety level as I needed more air the faster I ran.  As my conditioning became better, I was able to run comfortably at about an 8 minute mile rate for as long as necessary without feeling anxious.  My friend, Leo, used to talk about "leaving it all on the track."  I always kept something in reserve.  When I began to reflect on this tendency on my part in regards to running, I realized that I also kept something back in practically every aspect of my life, from personal affairs to professional work.  I think that it's really difficult distinguishing between a kind of prudence or balance in one's life and the necessity of pushing myself to do whatever it is that I can to give back the gifts that I have been given, even if it leads to a little anxiety.